SUNglasses

Sunglasses at night or indoors. If there isn't a medical condition making it necessary, it's just pretty stupid. They actually hinder your view, which means you're doing it for "the look." And it looks pretty stupid. Though not as douchey as when you see it at a party or a club, it's also pretty lame when the Texas Hold 'Em guys do it. I get the strategy behind it, but what happened when guys who played had a poker face. Those were the cool guys. Sigh, what is this world coming to?

P.S. I love how these pics always make reference to a former douche sign. I weep for humanity.

Popped Collars

Oh, the popped collar.

I don't even know where this originated. I'm thinking it started with entitled WASPy kids that hail from places like the Hills (I'm pretty sure any Hills qualify), the 'bu, and wherever the Kardashians are from. Somewhere along the line Kanye and Jay-Z picked it up, giving it "street cred". I'm pretty sure I missed a few steps and my lack of street cred makes me unsure whether Kanye has any. In any case, you can probably bet that anyone who pops their collar thinks way too much of themselves and will likely sexually harass you in one way or another... while drinking something with one of those skinny straws that's really supposed to be a stirrer. Am I the only one that has such a vivid picture in their head right now?

Please note the the extended middle finger of Douche in Purple. He's extra special.

The Shocker

It's stereotyping, but it has crossed everyone's mind. There are certain things: specific clothes, the way someone wears certain items...even mannerisms that make you think: douche. I've had several discussions with several different people where listing the characteristics of what makes someone a douche came way too easily. And so this site was born.

The thing that started it all: The Shocker


I was bored at work one day, hopping from one facebook page to another. I started with friends, then went on to friends of friends. I saw this guy that I always thought was "alright looking" (read: I've totally had a crush on him for, like, ever), so I clicked on "photos". A couple pictures in, I had confirmed that I did, in fact, think he was...alright. But then came the click that ended a 4 year crush. There he was at some bbq... flashing the Shocker. That's all I needed, I didn't even bother finish looking at the album. Douche.


The Urban Dictionary has some lengthy definition for it that I couldn't even bring myself to read in it's entirety. Basically, it's a sexual act that involves three fingers: two in the pink and one in the... man, if you don't know what it is, you're better off. It's gross, it's juvenile, and it's stupid for a "grown ass man" to be throwing it up in pictures.

I just googled "Shocker" and that's what came up. Point made? It should be noted that most hand gestures (i.e. the classic "middle finger") in pictures, other than a thumbs up and peace sign, fall into the realm of douchebaggery.

There is only one exception to this rule that I have come across thus far. And that is when the Shocker becomes... The Spocker! 

By default, anything Spock is cool. But the dude on the right? Total douchebag.